My son started showing signs of school phobia at the beginning of Grade 11 following the numerous shutdowns of in-person learning. However, if I look back, he and his twin brother began exhibiting signs of school phobia from the beginning in kindergarten. It was only until my one son began missing multiple school days (outside of being late) that I began to worry intensely about the pattern that was beginning to appear. The consequences have been awful– not only grades falling from A to D, but watching my son’s self-esteem, sense of belonging, and anything else that should allow a young person to feel validated wither away. My son– so full of artistic, creative gifts– lie listlessly in bed when he should be excited about the day– shutting himself off from the outside, living world– has been a cruel and humbling journey. The mornings have become a source of dread as I am unsure as to what to expect.
The experience has impacted our family dynamic by intensifying the stress level so much that it has caused my own anxiety to elevate along with feelings of depression and doubt in myself as a parent. A recent psychoeducational assessment has provided information about a mild inattentive ADHD diagnosis with social anxiety (previous testing only provided a diagnosis of “gifted”/ Generalized Anxiety Disorder back in Grade 5), but the looming question is “where do we go from here?”. Experiencing a child who has school phobia has allowed me to see, even as an educator myself, how flawed our system is in providing support to children and families. It has also shown how crucial a need there is for change in our society to show that, as a society, we truly value our youth.